I did a little exercise recently that really helped to restore my clarity and I thought it might be relevant for others. Like many people I think, it’s easy for me to overdose on input and give my mind an opportunity to use this as a whisk for my stillness. So being a bit of a ‘list person’ I decided to do just that. A list of the things that I actually ‘know’ and none of the things I have read, presumed, imagined or just agree with. Strictly experience based truths only. The outcome for me was a re-set. It took a good hour or so to write but was a really useful investment and something that’s been helpful to revisit if I find myself drifting off track.
Here we go…
WHAT DO I REALLY KNOW?
Notes to myself on what I actually know through my own experience, so I can strip away the bullshit and fog. Nothing that I have read, nothing that I would like to be true & nothing I haven’t experienced yet…
• Foremost – This feeling inside. Call it awareness, chi, consciousness, presence, Shiva, God, me… it’s all the same thing as I see it. You can put it to use in different ways and what you label it as is unimportant, as names are of this world & ‘it’ isn’t. So I won’t offend ‘it’ whatever label I choose! My mind tried very hard to make me feel disloyal for trying different paths & names – but I learned this was just another mind trick.
• How does the ‘feeling’ feel? Like my core. Peaceful & calm. An inner sanctuary that’s available at any time. Still. Revitalising. Addictive. Beautiful.
• I’m aware of a separation between this feeling, the body and the mind – and it feels right.
• Don’t listen with your ears – stay present and let the message seep in. A subtle transfer takes place when I let go & feel the message behind the spoken words, written words, music, sounds, videos… And try to do same with the other senses – different objects & shapes can produce a particular feeling all of their own.
• Spiritual masters are like beacons. Like the ‘internet boosters’ of awareness that strengthen the signal. After being in their presence, (although there’s often a lag), a higher level of awareness arises. But after a while it subsides again. A similar experience happens after weekends at the retreat.
• Sadhguru somehow answers my questions. Its very strange, so I get sceptical and put it down to imagination but it keeps happening. How much proof does an idiot need?
• Thinking of Babaji with reverence & respect yields a blessing.
• Energy can be detected in different ways – from people, places, books, videos – just by tuning in. It can often feel really strong like a sudden whoosh.
• I can use this feeling of energy to help my physical body by directing it with the mind, with enough intention, my body usually follows. A daily Chi bath is a spa experience like no other!
• Allowing my body to align with the creation, in fact asking to be aligned, brings physical changes like my sudden change of diet to vegetarian. No mental decision was made, the change just happened. Sometimes while meditating on being aligned, my posture changes all on its own. The back straightens and my arms slide back towards the lap.
• A calmer mind is more effective day to day. No big surprises there.
• Compassion levels rocket. Tears never seem far away.
• People like me more. Even strangers are more receptive & kind. I’m more tolerant of people in many ways but at the same time drawn to quiet, stillness and my own company.
• Prejudices, views, preferences & differences mellow & fade away. With people, appearances have become far less important and I pay more attention to what’s underneath.
• I learnt to avoid any distain for Maya – the physical world – without it there’d be no comparison. And it’s OK to enjoy and appreciate the material things, (without guilt), although my wanting for things has subsided. The physical and non-physical are one.
• The mind over complicates and uses your own tendency to seek, to confuse you. It’s good to seek & experiment but it also makes you vulnerable to being thwarted by an over active imagination. • Awareness levels fluctuate. It’s frustrating. Accept and understand it. It could be a way of bringing you back to basics from the wrong path.
• Too much input of spiritual stuff causes an intellectual overload and awareness crashes. Trying too hard and wanting it too much does the same. Making it all too important turns the stillness to noise. Reminding yourself that there’s no rush – you’re already there – is a leveller.
• Having really experienced it through meditation, I know living things aren’t just ‘alive’ – they are ALIVE! There is a vibrant life energy in them. I’ve not seen it in stuff like rocks but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.
• I understand that every life & every life form is equally as important. It’s wrong to think that some are worthless just because we arrogantly label them as weeds or pests.
• I don’t get bored like I used to.
• Nature is breathtaking and leads by example. Nature is always beckoning.
• I’ve experienced a sensation of being the ‘eternal now’ through meditation a few of times. Time stops, awareness expands, there’s a feeling of all inclusiveness. Everything makes sense like its a glimpse of the bigger picture.
• I learn more all the time.
• This path becomes very obsessive and time consuming!